Relationships are the cornerstones of our lives. However, for some individuals, these very relationships can turn into sources of doubt, anxiety, and unrelenting obsession. This condition is known as Relationship-OCD, or ROCD, and it can wreak havoc on your love life. In this article, we’ll delve deeper into what ROCD is, explore its impact on individuals with anxious and fearful-avoidant attachment styles, and highlight the invaluable insights and assistance provided by Thais Gibson, the founder of The Personal Development School.
Understanding Relationship-OCD
Before we delve into the impact of ROCD on attachment styles, it’s essential to grasp the essence of Relationship-OCD. ROCD is a manifestation of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) wherein doubts and discomfort surrounding a romantic relationship spiral out of control. Individuals grappling with ROCD often experience intrusive thoughts, fears, and anxiety related to their partner’s level of interest, attraction, or suitability. These obsessions lead to excessive rumination, culminating in emotional turmoil and relationship turbulence.
Gibson underscores the fact that obsessive-compulsive disorder usually stems from a deep core wound. In the context of ROCD, these core wounds are often linked to issues like safety, abandonment, or betrayal. These core wounds are a result of past traumatic experiences, which in turn leads to a fear of repeating these traumatic events in one’s present relationships.
For instance, an individual carrying an “I am unsafe” core wound may obsessively ruminate about potential safety risks, which may result in compulsive actions such as repeatedly checking locks or appliances. Similarly, individuals grappling with ROCD may ruminate about the stability of their relationship, prompting behaviors like excessive testing or constantly seeking reassurance.
The Impact of ROCD on Attachment Styles
Attachment styles play a pivotal role in how individuals experience and cope with ROCD. Gibson, drawing from her extensive research and practical experience, highlights that anxious attachment styles are particularly susceptible to ROCD, followed by fearful-avoidant styles.
- Anxious Attachment Styles and ROCD
Individuals with anxious attachment styles often have a profound fear of abandonment. They frequently connect their core wound of “I will be abandoned” with safety concerns, leading to obsessive thoughts and compulsions within their relationships. They may consistently question their partner’s commitment, fear rejection, and seek reassurance excessively.
This cycle of anxious thoughts and actions can put a significant strain on relationships, making it challenging to experience the security and intimacy they so deeply desire. Gibson suggests that individuals with anxious attachment styles can greatly benefit from reprogramming their core wounds. By doing so, they can let go of old baggage and embrace healthier, more secure relationships.
- Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Styles and ROCD
Fearful-avoidant individuals, on the other hand, grapple with core wounds related to safety, betrayal, and at times, a fear of being trapped in the wrong relationship. ROCD in fearful-avoidant attachment styles can manifest as excessive suspicion, distrust, and constant flip-flopping in relationships.
These individuals may struggle to trust their partners fully, often leading to behaviors such as making accusations, testing their partner’s loyalty, or pushing them away to see if they will come back. While these actions may offer short-term relief from their core wounds, they ultimately damage the relationship and prevent them from experiencing the intimacy they crave.
Breaking Free from ROCD with Thais Gibson
Gibson offers valuable insights and guidance to help individuals break free from the grip of ROCD. Her research and teachings revolve around Integrated Attachment Theory™, which focuses on tackling core wounds, learning to meet your emotional needs, developing emotional regulation, setting boundaries, improving communication, and updating old behavioral coping mechanisms.
Gibson emphasizes that reprogramming core wounds is possible, and research shows that it takes 21 days to recondition these deeply ingrained patterns. By addressing and reprogramming their core wounds, individuals can experience more secure and fulfilling relationships.
This is achievable thanks to The Personal Development School. Offering daily live events, webinars, and access to certified integrated attachment theory experts who provide support and guidance, helps individuals on their journey to healing and finding their secure attachment styles. These events offer opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals, get questions answered, and receive additional support during the healing process.
Relationship-OCD can be a formidable obstacle to experiencing healthy, secure, and fulfilling relationships. By recognizing the core wounds that underlie ROCD and actively reprogramming them, individuals can break free from the cycle of obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions that hinder their love lives. Gibson’s platform offers a roadmap to secure attachment and provides the tools and support needed to heal and create thriving relationships. If you’ve been grappling with ROCD, remember that there is hope, and with the right guidance, you can transform your love life for the better.
