It’s hard when someone you love is sick. Not only are you worried about their well being, but you have your own worries to deal with. You likely want to help your loved one, but it can be a challenge to know what to do. In the expense of not knowing what to do, the urge might be to stay away. That can leave sick friends feeling lonely or even isolated.
Try not to overthink it. Show up for them in ways you would want others to show up for you. And don’t wait for them to ask for help. It can be hard for a person going through a serious illness to ask for help. Keep reading to learn how to help a sick friend navigate their medical appointments.
1. Offer to Drive Them
Going to their doctor’s appointments can be scary for patients. They may fear the news they might hear or worry about remembering everything. Plus, there’s the added stress of finding the right building and a parking spot. Sometimes, the illness even prevents them from driving. Offering to drive a sick friend to their appointment can help lessen that stressful burden.
If your friend is comfortable with it, you can wait in the waiting room with them as well. If you’re really close, they might even want you to see the doctor with them. If they do, offer to take notes for them. It can be overwhelming as a patient to remember everything that was said after the appointment.
2. Cook or Deliver Meals and Treats
A popular way to show love is through food. While recovering, your friend may struggle with cooking and planning things to eat — for themselves and their families. This is where you can step in. Offer to cook and drop off supper or have something delivered. You can even create a meal train list and recruit other people to help out. Just make sure to talk with your friend about their preferences. Make note of dietary restrictions their household may have as well as favorite options.
Get well gift baskets with snacks and treats can also lift your loved one’s mood. Comfort food and favorite desserts and refreshing drinks are nice surprises that show them they are loved. Make sure to spread out the love too. If their battle is long, maybe deliver a surprise once a week. Keep sprinkling love and help throughout the duration of their treatment.
3. Call Ahead
Just stopping by someone’s house may cause unnecessary stress for them. It can be challenging to get dressed and feel presentable every day. They might also be experiencing unpleasant symptoms that keep them in bed most of the day. Don’t let this stop you from seeing your friend, though. Being around people can really lift an ill person’s spirits.
They also don’t want to feel like people don’t want to be around them. Instead of a random pop-in, call first. Ask what time is a good time to come over. It doesn’t have to be an all day affair either, especially if your friend is exhausted. Even 30 minutes can brighten both your days.
4. Help Care for Pets and Children
Stopping by to take your bestie’s dog for a walk can be a big relief for pups and humans alike. Vet visits and trips to the groomers can also take a big load off your sick friend. When you’re over to see them, don’t ask, just check their pet’s food and water and play with them. Depending on your loved one’s immune system and illness, they might not be able to clean up after their pet either. You’re a literal lifesaver if you pick up poop from the yard or change litter boxes.
If your friend has kids, the same goes for helping with them. Popping over in the morning to help get everyone ready and out the door to school or daycare is hero’s work! After school homework time is another great time to offer help. Being a shuttle service to activities is helpful too. You could even take the kids on an adventure for the day to the zoo or park to let their parents get some quality rest.
5. Be Their Proxy
Being sick can take its toll in unexpected ways. If your ill friend has to miss events for their kids, be their proxy. Go to the sporting event or band competition and cheer on their kids. Take photos and videos so you can show your friend later. Bonus, this not only cares for your friend, but it also cares for their child. They also need support and reassurance when their parent is sick.
It’s great if you can be someone there to cheer their name and offer them support. This can also apply to holidays and birthdays. It might be difficult for your friend to do the shopping, wrapping and decorating this year. Lending a hand in making the magic happen for their kids is something you could do that will make a huge impact. Tip: take photos of your friend with their loved ones; it’s important to keep making memories.
Illness can be tricky to navigate. You want to be there for your loved one without overdoing it or dropping the ball. Don’t overthink and stress yourself out trying to pick the perfect way to show them you care. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or elaborate. In fact, small things over the course of their illness will add up more than a huge one.
Show your heart and just be you, and be true to your relationship with your friend. Try some of the tips above, and they will feel loved. You’ll also relieve some of their burdens and responsibilities. That way they can put their energy into getting well.
